Good and Bad

I think a lot about the duality of life. I was struck this morning by the fact that everything good seems to be accompanied with a downside. As I sat outside a coffee shop a man with a cool dog was forced to pick the dogs poop up with one of those "convenient" doggy bags. Having no trash receptacle nearby he was forced to carry the poop with him for a distance down the sidewalk. I watched and thought about how that dog, awesome as he was, caused his owner some amount of trouble. This is a common example, pets, children, and spouses can all be subject to some amount of cost benefit analysis.

Yet, to do a cost benefit analysis with something you love seems to objectify it in a way that makes the bad seem more important than the good. In reality the good always outweighs the bad. To look at the bad and make its value overly important is to make the part more valuable than the whole. I recently read a book about amateur rowers who were working to compete in the 1984 Olympics. The book constantly spoke of the pain, struggle, and sacrifice that is associated with rowing. Much of the book was focused on the hardship of these amateurs and the fact that even though they worked incredibly hard their sport was, in the end, unappreciated.

In the end the gratification came from within. They realized that their sacrifice, and hard work had been them stronger people. It is too easy to look at the negatives of a situation and make a ruling that it is not worth the pain. To say that a "poopatrator" like that dog is not worth it simply because he defecates in public places on occasion can overlook the happiness that he brings to his owner.

I am a victim of putting to much emphasis on the bad. It's easy to get wrapped up in the negative, because the negative, frankly, is scary stuff. Focusing too much on the bad and the fear that arises from them can stop us from doing things that in the end will only make us, smarter, stronger, and a better individual. Each negative that is overcome will give a little bit of confidence, and a little bit of confidence can go a long way.

I have always had a skinny-fat complex. I was a chubby young man, at least I thought so, and I have never been strong. For that reason I always tried to go around lack of strength by doing something else well. In particular I would run a lot and build a great amount of endurance. Endurance is not a necessary part of being a good football player for example. While working around a particular problem may be a good way of overcoming some obstacles for others it is just a cop out. Inevitably, for me to get stronger I am going to have to eat, put on a bit of fat, and lift heavy weights. This is something I have honestly been afraid of for a long time. Think intimidated in the weight room type of scenario. The fact of the matter is that the only way to overcome this is to confront it. If I let the things I have perceived to be negatives, gaining weight and fear of getting fat, I will never be able to reach my objective.

Just like the "poopatrator" dog, I cannot allow the negatives to stop me from achieving the benefits. Now, in some cases the poop may be just what we're after.

The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself

At this point in time my life is in a great state of flux. I don't know exactly how to view my situation. I am a recent graduate of Iowa State University. I graduated a semester early, and now I am trying to figure both why I chose to do that and what my next step will be. The semester may be inconsequential. Even if I would have gone a full four years I probably would find myself in this same state only four or five months down the line. What I do know is that change is hard. Comfort is, well, comfortable. The longer I wait for life to slap me in the face, the longer I will be standing in Muscatine, Iowa with an unbruised face.

I had planned to take a roadtrip to explore the world of Crossfit while in my last semester. Like many things in my life, girls, military, etc. this plan died out. Not because of a lack of desire, but instead because of fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Maybe even the fear of success and what it might mean. Fear is something humans must overcome on a daily basis. It is not like I have shied away from overcoming my fears. Instead I focused on the ones that I could face without getting to far out of my own comfort zone. Now I am trying to see the error of my ways. In hopes of making good on at least some kind of roadtrip. I made a decision to commit to getting to Sunnyvale, California to explore the world around me. Why Sunnyvale? Maybe the best answer for right now is why not?

On the brink of a drastic change I was getting too far ahead of myself. This may or may not be necessary if we are to truly expect a big change to be made. It seems as if there are two paths. The Giant Leap or the baby step approach. At this juncture of my life the giant leap seems feasible. I'm young, ignorant, and green to the world around me. That being said the longer it takes to make that leap the easier it is to turn away. My parents are well mannered and cool headed people. They do a good job of pumping my brakes for both good and bad. Standing in the kitchen tonight I cried with my father over the path in front of me. What was this emotion? I honestly don't know. Anxiety, fear, doubt, and possibily love that I have for the ones around me boiling out as I attempt to break away from them in some way.

The conclusion to be drawn is that at some point you gotta let it out. Whatever "it" may be. Your love, your fear, your doubt. The only way to get it is to face it head on. Crying with my father over a beer gave me perspective on just how awesome my life has been, and how my parents love has allowed me to be so comfortable. At the same time talking through that emotion with him lets me know they support me and that being afraid is part of life. We all must face our fears and emotions and learn to deal with them or we will end up living a life without the thrill of overcoming our anxieties.

Dale Carnegie
"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy."