Disappointment has a funny way of making you want things. The feeling of not getting something seems to solidify the need for it. I was recently turned down for a Teach For America position. The email I was given was rather ambiguous and it simply said you don't fulfil our needs at this time. I applied in the fourth wave, the last one, and the areas I chose were probably pretty popular spots. That could have played a big part of the denial. Maybe, I will reapply the next go around. For the time being I will say what I say to all women who turn me down "it's your loss babe".
Knowing what we want hard to identify. So many things are just emotional responses that can shift from day to day. The experience has made me realize that I think I want to become a teacher. Still, I am an impulisive moron so I'll give that sentiment a bit of time before I dig into it.
Right now I am finding it hard to live California lifestyle at $10 dollars per hour. The problem is that "totally awesome dude" doesn't get you a lot of job offers. On the upside the weightlifting has been great and I am learning a lot. That is the one constant that has held. I know I want to do it, and I am attacking it to the best of my ability. If only a career was the same.
Maybe I am just bitching. How many people really get to do what they really want? I know my father would probably like to have farmed. My mother has done a great deal without even going to college, but a great deal of it was probably not what she "wanted". The one thing that seems to come through is that you do what you can to make some money, and then find happiness the best you can.
Like Pearl, I just want my money.
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